Learning to listen

I had just had a difficult parenting moment with my 8 year old son. I was frustrated and wondered how I was ever going to get through to him on this particular area. I was worried that he was never going to think about anyone beside himself, and end up a selfish, self centered person. I know this is not true, but I think that sometimes we moms worry we are not doing a good job teaching our kids to think of others first. It is a hard thing for adults to do, let alone an 8 year old boy, I know, but sometimes the things he does really worries me. As I left the room, I went to get things ready for school. The first thing I did was check his journal from yesterday. I had just introduced journaling to him, figuring he'd love it since he loves to write. I told him he could write about anything he wanted, but usually people journal about things that happen in their lives. This was his first entry, and it blew me away to get this peek into his mind, especially about a moment that was pretty traumatic for all of us.

My Sister at the Hospital

One sunny day we were coming home from school when my sister felt kind of sick. My mom stopped at a driveway and got a bag in case she spit up. She didn't spit up. When we got home, my mom told Daddy about my sister. Then Mom said, "get in the car." I was confused. I thought, "Why did she say that?" Before I knew it, we were driving. I was still mixed up. We stopped at rite aid and my parents called the ambulance. After that, I knew what was going on. I said a prayer for her. A few hours later, she came home. I said a prayer for her because I care for her.

So many emotions went through my mind when I read this. First, how sweet it was of him to pray for his sister and the fact he said "because I care for her". Sometimes you just wonder if they even LIKE each other! Haha! I saw what a sensitive, caring, boy he is, and his true heart for his sister. Maybe I needed to rethink that whole selfish thing about him. THEN, I felt like the worst mom ever. I had just got done giving him the "what for" since he was not doing something I had asked him to do, albeit for the third time. He was complaining about having to do a simple chore, and I was frustrated to have to explain every little detail and have him still not understand and obey. It was not pretty. After I read the journal entry, I realized that sometimes he just doesn't understand things I tell him, and it's not that he's just not listening. I know he tries, and I should be praising his efforts, (but moms, you know how it is when you've discussed things for the 100th time!). I know I need more patience and wisdom in this area. I realize that I need to step back and think about things from his perspective and instead of jumping to conclusions (if he doesn't learn to help out around the house, he'll grow up to be a selfish, lonely man!!!), I need to remember things like this journal entry and see that maybe he is listening after all, and maybe it's me who needs to learn to listen more.

P.S. I typed the entry just how he wrote it, with quotation marks, punctuation and all. Hey! He's listening during his grammar lessons too! Bonus! (;