Holly Homemaker

I read this neat article from Teri Maxwell at Titus2.com. She is the mother of 8 homeschooled (some grown and married) children and always has wonderful, uplifting things to say on the site and also on their blog. This article, Holly Homemaker, talks about how the world sometimes devalues the role of the stay at home parent. It is hard to know that there are people out there that think I am just wasting my life staying at home to raise and educate my children. After all, I am a college graduate and could have had a wonderful career as a teacher by now (not exactly high paying but anyway...). I could have still had children and just sent them to school at age 5 and possibly even work in their school so I could be close to them. We'd have the same "hours" and I'd still have the time with them at night. I'd even have summers free. Sounds perfect, right? In the world's eyes, I could have "had it all".

I admit, a teaching career is probably one of the best to have if you have to work outside the home with it's "good" hours and advantages. But even before I went to college, I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom once I got married and had kids. I went to college because I had no idea if and when that would become a possibility, and I wanted a career "to fall back on", just in case my dreams took a while to come true. I knew I wanted to stay at home with my kids while they were young, but I also figured I would go back to work once the youngest was of school age. It would work out perfect since I'd be working while they were at school anyway. I had it all figured out.

Well, I think even before I had my first child, I knew that I wasn't meant to be a teacher in a regular school. I struggled during the few years I did teach and I was very disillusioned about doing this for the rest of my life, and also about putting my children in school. My husband was homeschooled for part of his growing up years and the more I learned about it, the more I realized that this is what I was meant to do. A teacher yes, but only to a class of three. I felt it was the best thing for my children and since I did have the teaching background, it made the decision even easier. I always felt like tutoring was a better fit for me and this was the ultimate tutoring job!

Well, I had the child raising/homeschooling part down, but I admit that I didn't embrace the housewife role so easily. I fought it tooth and nail, especially in the early years of our marriage. My mom was a stay at home mom and didn't even go back to work until I was in high school. She did all the housecleaning and cooking, and my dad did the "outside stuff". It was the typical traditional roles. My mom didn't seem to complain and actually prefered it that way, so I didn't see the role of housewife in a negative way, but for some reason, when I got married, I felt that the husband and wife should share the load 50/50. I think it was because at first I was working too and felt my husband should help around the house as well. Then when I had kids, it was like Oh, I have to take care of the kids all day (which was my job) and my husband worked outside the home (his job) so the housework should be split up between us. It was only fair, right? Well, the problem was that my husband was not boarding that train at all. He too had grown up seeing those traditional roles played out in his family and figured everything to do with the house and children was the wife's role. I felt things were different now a days and the husband/father should be much more involved in the upkeep of the family. It took us many years to accept that we were both right. I now know that it is a God given command and right to be the keeper of my home and educator of my children. I know all that it involves now and I embrace it. It is still not easy for me at times but I am learning to love what I do, even the housework. I look at it as obeying my Lord and blessing my family. I am no where near perfect in doing so- the look of my house at times will tell you that- but I have come so far in realizing that in the past I was just trying to get out of doing something I didn't want to do, partly because I hadn't had to do it growing up! Part of it was/is pure laziness and the other part had alot to do with maturing as a wife and mother. The other thing we realized is that yes, the father/husband does need to be involved in the upkeep of his family, but I know in my heart of hearts that my husband goes above and beyond what I know alot of other husbands do. Once I started looking at all the things he DOES do for our family, it was overwhelming. Who cares if he doesn't do as many loads of laundry as I do, he does so many other things I do not want to do (like pay bills and grocery shop). I saw how truly blessed I was and it made me want to bless him even more by doing what I am called to do.

I am a Holly Homemaker and couldn't be happier about it. No matter what the world thinks, I know I am not wasting my life- I am creating a life for my family that I know I couldn't do with a career, no matter how "perfect" I thought it would be. My career is my family, and to me, that is the best job of all.